dark side of mars…

funny how days turn into a month or more huh?

well right to it then.

i’ve been in one hell of a funky mood for the few weeks. i’m human…i get in moods sometimes. usually every couple of months and only for a day or so. i get really pissy…clown almost everyone…turn off my oral filter and let the chips lie where they may. i might apologize if i’ve said or done anything that is way too out of character for my normal positive and chipper self…and then i’m good. not this time.

i did a cleanse a couple of weeks ago. a protein/cleanse/purge thing that a friend suggested. she had gone through it and said it did wonders for her so what the hell. i decided to do it right. for nine days while taking on this effort in physical betterment (that is a word right? cause it sounded really good) there was no drinking…and no smoking. thats right i said it…no smoking. nothing. nope…not that either. i’m really dont get mentally addicted to many things. so these werent difficult to break from…especially for a measly nine days. close to the end of this undertaking however i found myself on edge.  things that i would normally let go off in a matter of minutes began taking seed and truly disturbing my consciousness. festering even.

my e-friends caught the brunt of it…my e-”i never really liked you anyway”s caught some as well. funny thing…those i love…my family and friends just seem to just make me feel better at least momentarily.

i thought maybe it was my body going through a withdrawl but have since resumed my regular bad habits and this funk is still lingering…only growing.

i find myself peturbed that the world isnt making the changes it should be making quicker than its making them. that society is made up of individuals…and we’re all responsible for where we are and why we arent closer to a better place than we are right now. that the youth feel their 15-25 years on this planet has given them some great insight and should earn them respect from their elders. i’m peturbed at the stagnant myspace/facebook and twitter bullshit. quite frankly even the blackberry curve that was such a joy to possess just 4 months ago is making me sick.

i feel like a rat in a cage designed so vast as to give me the illusion of freedom…but i’ve just bumped into a glass wall and discovered that in truth i am not free. i feel caged in my own freaking skin.

change…oh i pray change can get me out of this mood because if not i may have to pay someone to help me find out where this is coming from and the idea of going through that process only pisses me off even more.

i’m lost people. its times like this that having someone you can speak to…even if not for answers more so than the knowledge that there is at least ONE other person out there that understands what you are going through…really helps. i thought this would help. writing it down. putting it out to the world. how could it really? i dont know anyone thats reading this…hell i dont know if ANYONE is actually reading this or ever will. lol…wow…that put a smile on my face.

you know i once saw a movie…the big bounce…where al freeman told owen wilson (i believe) “god is just an imaginary friend for grown people”. perhaps you phantom readers are mine. imaginary friends…god…whichever you choose…lol.

a week at a time…

aight…lets make this an official weekly appointment so i dont feel guilty when i make my next entry a week from now…lol.

well my weeks been great my friends…where to start where to start?

oh…how about my cable box crapped out for the third time so i had to get a new replacement. comcast really needs to look into not sending signals that will fry my cable box as a troubleshooting step…doesnt that get a little pricey?

well since i was getting a new box i decided it was a perfect time to have an HD box with double DVR capabilities installed. lets just say “WOW!”. if i havent posted this yet i was semi retarded when it comes to cable tv up until a couple of months ago. with my AADD and so many choices that damn thing would just stay on the weather channel 24/7 and i’d be so lost when people were talking about all these cool shows they were watching that i’d never seen. not now my friends…i’m hip (yeah i’m cool enough to get away with using the word hip people…lol). i’m able to offer input on a myriad of cable tv conversations. “how hot was nia long and alicia keys on the BET awards? grrrrrr” “was lyfe jennings not the most confused looking mofo on that Hip-Hop vs America forum?” “whats poppin on The Game this week?” the little things in life make me estatic…lol.

what else? oh yes…i have a few trips planned in july. i’m an avid traveler (or atleast have grown into one over the past few years) and due to a change in companies i havent left this area all year. i’m itching to go somewhere. so the plan is to hit home (ny) for a four-day weekend on the 11th and then to go out to detroit for the weekend of the 25th. i know what youre thinking…”is going to detroit really considered traveling?”. well i’m not going to see detroit as much as i am going to see a young lady i think its time we give a name. she’s the big crush i wrote about in my first post. the one i didnt want to give a name just incase it turned out to be nothing but my imagination.

for a reason i wont disclose lets call her twinkie…lmao. yeah there’s no way she’ll be getting the URL to this blog cause she’d stab me in my sleep behind that nickname…lol.

anyway…shes going to be in detroit that weekend…so guess where i’m going to be. you guessed it.

while we’re on the subject…

you know for the last few weeks i’ve been confused as all hell by her. she doesnt give me a direct answer when i ask her how she feels for me…though she has admitted to enjoying our conversations. one minute she’s shooting me down and leaving me feeling like she wouldnt piss on me if i was on fire…next minute shes asking if i’m gonna call her or what. shes funny…and now that i think of it…how happy would i be if it was any easier to deal with her? i’m pretty easy when it comes to getting won over…but i think a woman playing hard to get increases her worth in my mind. i might be alone in that observation…but hey i’m writing this story…lol.

other than that i’m working a 10 day work week here…but not stressing at all at the moment. hell once i get out of here in the morning it’ll only be 9 left…lol. looks like the merger for my company is going to get the full-fledged ok from the FCC…which is great freakin news. and oh how could i forget…looks like i’ll be heading to my dream vacation destination pretty soon…hawaii. always wanted to go and it looks like the trip just fell into my lap…thats whats up am i right.

ok my friends…i think youre all caught up. i’ll see you guys next week…hopefully…lol.

oh and forgive the typ-o’s i’m skipping the spellcheck today…lol.

 

introducing hip-hop…

so after looking for a new entry for the week from my favorite blogger i realized “hey! how can i be disappointed that she hasn’t written anything new when i haven’t either” so here i am my friends with another nail-biting entry to leave you on the edge of your seat…not really though…lol.

nothing has really been up but i will give you guys my week in review (well so far anyway).

a special friend of mine (lets call her “Hip-Hop”) made one of her infamous trips to the DC area this past weekend. a magnetic personality and manner that makes you feel like you’re the only person in the room she’s one of a kind to say the least.

a little of the back story on her:

i met her in high school (that was many many many moons ago for those that don’t know the deal) and had a crush on her since then. a muslim sister that stayed in hijab and jilbaab with a rumored large family (plenty of brothers) i never approached her. today a very successful foreign exchange investment banker with one of the largest financial institutes in the world let alone NY she’s an adamant world traveler with a self-diagnosed case of AADD…lol. early last year we were placed back in touch through the magic of myspace…boy these e-communities are THE WHEEL aren’t they? since her return to my life she she’s brought with it a newness. from playing my first round of golf…to going on my first and only camping trip…there’s a new desire to turn the X-factor in my life up a few notches hence the name Hip-Hop. something i fell for hard years ago and still surprises and excites me with new things daily. beautiful…smart…engaging…she’s grown into quite a woman.

…meanwhile…back at the ranch…

so she came into town on friday and bunked with an old college friend which happened to live only minutes from my place. too tired to make it out of my bedroom friday evening i made it my duty to share her company saturday evening. an afternoon of sushi and mojitos changed to an evening at the movies to see The Hulk and then changed again to ordering The Great Debaters on pay-per-view and emptying a bottle of Patron between the three of us…good times…good times…lol.

a little bit beyond my liquor limit i decided to call it an evening at about midnight and took a leisurely stroll home. something tells me staying would have got me off my road of celibacy…if anyone could…she could do it.

the highlight of everyday after that this week has been chit-chatting with the no-name crush from my first entry (well…i think it was my first entry). the day seems a bit stale until i hit her up with an email or IM and she hits me back with some dry response as an attempt at humor…lmao! (I kid…she’s got her moments)

oh i may not have mentioned the best part in regards to this young woman my friends…i’m a bit excited. you know what? maybe i’ll keep that to myself for now and let you know after it goes down. no need in getting you guys chomping at the bit until it’s really something…lol.

ok friends…i’ll hit you with another thrill-packed fast-paced installment of Mars and Back when something thrill-packed and fast-paced actually goes down…lol.
 

am i the yardstick?

well today i received an email from the ex-wife.

*takes a moment* lets think of a name for her because although she’s slowly being weened out of my life she is the mother of my three children and thus she may pop up from time to time. sanaa *drool*? nah the feelings i have for sanaa lathan *drool* just dont translate well. ahhh…i got it. vivica fox! a woman i used to think was the absolute bomb yet over the recent years i’ve grown to do nothing but shake my head when i think about what she’s become. yeah…that fits to a tee.

so vivica sends me a quick email giving me a few updates on what she’s doing with june’s child support as well as some future plans she has for the children’s summer.

just a little background info to bring you up to speed. i met vivica when i was a mere 19 yo pup and she was 23. a gorgeous woman with strong native american features. at the time she was into women and had been since a child only being with one other man her entire 23 years on this planet until me. because of her sexual preference i more so saw her as one of the fellas. a sexy 5′ 9″ fella with a dancers body and a nice silver jetta. i never thought much about her in terms of a relationship even when my fellas informed me that all she was doing (inviting us oer to her house all the time…taking us out for drinks…making us feel like family) was all because she was interested in me (*note* i mentioned in the last episode that i was damn near clueless when it comes to picking up on hints that i’m the subject of anyone’s admiration…and believe me my new friends it started at a very young age). i remained clueless denying the suggestion until one summer afternoon. i entered her house to find my two best friends sitting in the top floor living room of her DC duplex watching television and drinking red wine (the staple of her existence). when i asked where vivica was i was informed that she was downstairs and asked me to come down and say hi when i got there. still clueless i walked down stopping just outside of her closed bedroom door. *tap tap tap*…”vivica. you in there? its mars.” i heard a simple “yeah. come in.” from the other side. as i opened the door i caught her with her back towards me…one leg up on the bed…totally naked lotioning her freshly showered skin. yes…”uhhhhhhhh” is all i could seem to get out as i stood there unable to look away. hahahah! now that i think back on it i’m sure she had to have liked me at the time because my drop-jawed gawking ass standing there frozen in time could not have been an attractive sight…lol. it was that day…right in the middle of her extremely enthusiastic orgasm that one of my best sexual relationships began (and believe me my new friends i’m not bragging…she’s always been able to finish strong with little to no help from me).

*we’ll get deeper into the relationship that developed at another time friends*

what was i talking about again…oh yes…today’s email. i bring it up because after listing her plans a suprising paragraph followed which gave me a bit of insight that had not known before.

here’s an exerpt…

“on a side note, i was just telling my husband that the only quantitative memory i have as a married adult comes from my life with you. spending 10 years with you is the default in my mind when it comes to marriage and life with the kids. so dont think that it doesnt mean anything or that i dont have love for you. that should be understood. we have just chosen different paths.”

not much to the average reader…i know…but as a man once married to this woman i have NEVER heard these words uttered from her verbally or in written form since our divorce and it was an extreme shock to see them staring up at me. we are much greater friends now than we have been since we got married but this is something that has never come up. 7 years and 4 husbands later i’m taken aback by the statement. to know from her that i have had that affect on her life. hell that i may even be the yardstick that all these guys have been measured against is quite a boost to the old male ego. once again not to brag but i’ll be damned if i wasnt an awsome ass husband…lol…after all it was i who divorced her and not the other way around for a reason.

so i just wanted to share that with you all as it was still with me. boy i’m really feeling my super-sexy right now…lol.

see you guys next time. be good to yourselves and eachother.

mars

The Opening Scene:

 

wordpress. what is this wordpress that all of these interesting bloggers seem to flock to in throngs? well at least one interesting blogger that i have seen thus far. i had to find out for myself.

let me introduce myself. i’m Mars and i’m definitely not new to this blog thing. i’ve had a few here and there over my years. but the lack of anonymity caused me to start holding back or just abandoning them once i began to feel my freedom of speech being yolked. 

i always hate these canned introductions but if i expect anyone to read this i guess i have to give you a little intel about me…my past…my life. besides if this thing becomes viral there should be a great intro to look back on…like this one…lol.

well i am a NY transplant who has resided in the DC metro area for just over 16 years now. i currently work behind the scenes (way behind them people) at a radio system that is headed for a merger any day now *just to give you a hint*. i’m 35 years of age though i look in my late 20’s (well atleast to me and thats all that counts isnt it…lol) and acts like i did my late teens. i’ve been married…divorced…had children…lived abroad and learned that life is nothing more than what you make it to be in my latter years. i’ve been in the field of IT and Operations for over a decade and though it was definitely not my first choice its something that i have a proficiency for and its been quite kind to me.

i hope this to be a place where i can shoot the breeze and bring you up on the latest life lessons i have learned…like why you should always carry a BIC lighter everywhere you go (oh yes my friends that lesson will come later). maybe we’ll have fun along the way. i promise to stay as consistent as possible…and be there for you just like you’ll be there for me (not you in the back though…you look like trouble already…SECURITY!!!).

so one topic on my mind just so this isnt just an intro is a young woman (three years my junior) that has captured my attention for the past couple of years. lets avoid giving her a name at the moment just incase she never makes it past post 1 you my new friends will not get attached.

i joined a forum of hers about 2 years ago. i saw her and was very intrigued. not only by her looks (which are phenomonal my new friends…trust) but her seemingly dry sense of humor which she swears is funny…wide base of knowledge..love for her children and so much that we have in common. with my interests sparked i did the only thing i’ve known how to do innately since i’ve reached my tender years of puberty…i flirted…HARD. thinking back on it i dont believe she even picked up on it but a fellow member (her love at the time) obviously did. in a playful tone i was escorted back to my place and decided that it would be best if i play my position and stay in my lane.

i did this…for two years friends. admired from afar and enjoyed the cordial yet stimulating interactions with her. believe i was not pining…i did have a life during this time…but i still saw what was so attractive about her on a daily basis.

recently i saw an opening and jumped at it. i broke down my admiration to her and i’m not sure (shes so aloof its sickening at times…lol) but i think there may be something there in return.  *IMORTANT NOTE* - i say this not be coy but honest - short of someone saying “hey i’m diggin you” or “dude get away from me already” i’m no good at this game so beware this all could come back to bite me in the ass…bad for me good reading for you. in the meantime i remember what one of my dearest friends has reminded me of recently “this is the best part. its new and its fun…so just enjoy it.” and take that advice daily.

there’s really not much more to that story but i will keep anyone interested updated as the story unfolds.

so what are some of the things we have to look forward to during our journey together my new friends?

• will deep emotional involvment develop from a crush?
• how is it that mars’ kids are living abroad and how does he feel about this?
• will mars ever put up pictures of his sexy-self?
• did mars realize his dream of skydiving this summer?
• is it true that mars is celibate but still partakes of oral pleasures on occasion?
• what ever happened to that special friend he had in NY?
• will mars ever kick the nicotine habit?
• did he ever configure that freaking blackberry curve or does it still have a mind of its own?
• what the hell is up with always having a BIC lighter on your person?

and much much more…stay tuned.